Stories

Tennis with Bill

My Father-in-law, Bill, was the most gentle of gentlemen.  He was a fine Christian, giving, supportive, and an example to all the guys my age at church.  I was the guy who fell in love with his daughter.

Once a part of his family, I learned there was another side to the man, his competitive side.

He loved sports, especially Auburn Football.  I have never seen a person get more involved in a game on TV.  There were times when we thought he might blow a gasket.  Auburn Football can do that to almost anyone.

I have never seen anyone take the card game Uno so seriously.  I always sat next to him, which meant I was supposed to wait until it reversed to play my Draw Two and Draw Four cards.  I was supposed to read his mind when playing a Wild card when the player was at Uno and about to go out.  He called me a "Dumb Ass" when I played a wild card and didn't call the color of the Draw Two he wanted to play.

He enjoyed giving me extra cards.

He loved playing tennis.  He, our Pastor, Ron, and a WW-II Bomber Pilot, Bill Penn, played several times each week.  I forget who their fourth player was, but one Saturday, he couldn't make it.  I was home on leave from the Army, so Bill told me I would play.

I said, Yes, Sir, but explained that I didn't play tennis.  That didn't seem to matter to Bill.

Colonel Penn and Ron teamed up.   I was Bill's partner, and I was horrible.  His constructive criticism and helpful pointers sounded a lot like abuse.  At one point, Bill called me over to him.

Damnit, Son, you're supposed to hit the God-Damn-Ball OVER the net."

I knew I would never play any sport with him again.

Nor was I asked.